we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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