Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
