so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
