While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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