We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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