Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
