Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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