Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
