Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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