like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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