Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
