I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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