just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
There r osticjed everywhere
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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