Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
