The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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