This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
