if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
