ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
