you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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