I'm so fucking centered right now
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
