Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
