the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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