He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Randomize
