do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
