Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
COCAINE IS GR8
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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