Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
