so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
