just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
