my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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