Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
