If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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