I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
