He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You smell like stripper and shame
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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