This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
