Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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