He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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