note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
