return my video game
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
