When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
