Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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