Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
