How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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