If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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