She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
