Dual....:-)
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
