i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
