Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
