OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
