I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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