woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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