I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
