Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i love accidental penises.
He passed out mid-signature
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
